"A life lived with gratitude is a quiet joy." So, I received a gratitude jar for Christmas. I wasn't expecting it, but that made it a wonderful great gift. In trying to combat my anxiety, I focused on gratitude and mindfulness. These have been the two practices that have been percolating in my mind and brought me some peace.
For me, focusing on gratitude lifts my spirit, makes me feel that happy fuzzy feeling inside. Instead of focusing on my lack of sleep, how I feel anxious, how I may not have said the right thing, how I don't give enough to this or that, I think GRATITUDE. Then, it's like my mind resets and see the good, my blessings, and life's beauty. I feel like I have a choice on what track my brain can take...negative or a positive/grateful path. Ironically, the gratitude choice is the more difficult one, the one that does not seem to come naturally. It is work to ward off negative thinking patterns. I wonder why? Am I a negative person, does being a mom of young kids just bring along a lot of stress, or are humans naturally negative. It's probably a little of all these things.
So being grateful is a choice.. I try and bring it to the front of my mind several times a day. In all honesty though, I would say I focus on gratitude two to three times a day. My goal for 2015 is to make gratitude a place I go to often... A default place that I go when there is quiet... A place where I can find calm and peace.
Interlaced with gratitude is this idea of mindfulness. Mindfulness is "the intentional accepting and non-judgmental focus of one's attention on emotions thoughts and sensations occurring in the present moment." How are mindfulness and gratitude interlaced? For me, when I go to a mindful place, I often begin to sense negative feelings. I try to work through the negative and then try to practice gratitude.
Mindfulness also has allowed me to find a deeper love and respect for myself. Allowing myself to feel and not push the uncomfortable feelings down has been quite freeing and calming. I think that my over-achiever self has pushed out negative and hard feelings my entire life. In order for me to move forward and in a path that isn't necessarily true to me but more in the direction of where I "thought I should be" I just really didn't feel a lot. Thoughts towards achieving took the front seat and really getting to know myself and face the hard stuff just didn't fit in my self devised grand plan.
However, mindfulness has allowed mye to see / learn my true self and respect that person called ME. The no judgment part is key too. How am I feeling now, I ask. I am usually able to identify the emotion, then I ask why do I feel this way. I usually am able to identify the feeling and what is bringing the feeling up at this moment. Then I tell myself, it's ok to feel this way. There is no feeling I "shouldn't" have. Understanding my emotions, feeling them and respecting / honoring them is a new road for me.
So, in 2015... I pray for mindfulness to be a part of me and let me find calm. A bumpy road I know it will be, but hopefully it will be an uphill road in total.